Wellness

I bet you're wondering what this over arching theme of wellness actually means.  I know over the past few months I have been thinking about it more and more.

For a very long time my idea of whether I was a good person or a bad person has been directly linked to one thing - the number that appeared when I stood on a set of scales.  Bigger the number, the worse I was - to be truthful, that number got very, very big and so my self esteem got very, very low.

So I became a binge eater.  I'd eat for all kinds of reasons from happiness to sadness but I found I was just stuffing food into my face trying to push down any and all emotions. It became a very vicious cycle.  Try to be good with food and fail.  Binge to make myself "feel better" after failing with food then see an even bigger number on the scale when I weighed myself.  Realise that I was an even worse person than I had imagined (because of weight gain) and have to eat to dampen those feelings.

The thing is the feelings never dampened down.  They got stronger, took hold and became fact, in my mind at least.  If there's one thing I can tell you, you must have enough love for yourself to break out of this cycle.

So I was cruising around online last year and I'd seen so many success stories out of the Michelle Bridges' 12wbt program.  I googled, I watched videos online, I read blogs of people who'd done the program.  I signed up. My first round of the 12wbt started on the 19th November 2012.  That wasn't the date that changed my life.  The date that changed my life came about a week later.  It was hot, over 40 degrees in Sydney and I was off to the gym to do a pump class.  I was hot, sweaty and tired and I hadn't even left my building to walk to the gym! I was grumpy and walking down my stairs out of my apartment block and I distinctly remember saying to myself (in my head, I'm not that nuts) "Look, you just have to trust in this program.  You think you know everything about weight loss but you don't, so trust that it'll work.  Follow the program and have faith".

That's exactly what I did.  Since that time I have lost 33kg and over 100cm from my body measurements.  I can honestly tell you I am a completely different person today than I was all those months ago.

What hasn't changed is people's fascination with weight and how much we all weigh.  Often, it's people's first question of me, "so, how much have you lost now?".  I get that, I do, but it's also putting the focus back on am I a good person or a bad person? Have I lost enough to be a good person yet? People don't mean it that way, but they don't know what it is like to be a chronic binge eater who loathed themselves who thought her only worth came from her ability to lose weight - and for years I didn't lose - I gained - so work out how I was feeling then!

I'm very pleased to tell you that the 12wbt changed my life - in more ways than the scale.  My mind is different, my heart is different, my confidence is different.......I'm completely different.

As I get nearer to my goal weight I've started to focus on how I've changed.  My approach to health and food has changed, my approach to work/life balance has changed and my search for inner peace has begun. This is how I found the wellness community.

Wellness to me is about nourishing the whole person - body, mind and spirit.  One of my primary beliefs is that you are what you eat.  Eat well and you will live well.  For me eating well involves a majority plant based diet (mainly vegetarian with occasional meat, such as fish), lowering the amount of added sugar in my diet and eating clean.  I've noticed that I rarely buy packaged foods that the majority of my food comes from the fresh fruit and vege aisles at the supermarket.  This is a great thing. I'm spoilt because I follow the 12wbt recipes which are designed by nutritionists who know how to make each and every meal the best for your body.  I have been able to translate some of the things I've learnt into recipes I've made up for myself.  One thing you'll learn about me is I'm a foodie - I love to cook and I love to eat.

But it's not just about eating well - it's about nurturing our whole spirit - taking time to relax, laugh, enjoy life and simply live in the moment.

I'll tell you I'm not great at these things.  I work - a lot - and place a lot importance on that.  I'm learning though that to live with wellness there must be a balance.

I'm someone who has dabbled with things like chakras and meditation for years never achieving much success.  Now I'll be dabbling and learning a bit more! Hopefully teaching you all along the way too with my attempts to live my life well.

When I started this blog it was all about my weight loss journey - and I won't be erasing that from the blog to start anew.  It's part of what brought me here.  What I'm doing now is adding a layer - an umbrella or belief system under which I know operate.

Welcome to my adventures into wellness.  I hope you enjoy my blog and take a little time to find what wellness means to you.